Twenty Things
by BellaCullenWanabee14
Summary: Our favourite vampires make a list of rules for their peers... Normal pairings
1. Upstaged by the JoBros

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own Twilight but hopefully in 10 years, I'll own Joe Jonas…

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own Twilight but hopefully in 10 years, I'll own Joe Jonas…**

**Story: 20 things**

**EDWARD MUST…**

_Not use his ability to make Mike Newton think he's going mad_

_Tell Bella that when she was sleeping, she said she 'wants him so bad'_

_Tell Carlisle that he's leaving to be a Vegas show girl(or in his case boy) just to see if it was possible for vampires to have a heart attack_

_Kill Jacob **(a/n this one I'm not too sure about this one, Jacob Black is a pompous fag)**_

_Hide Alice's credit cards…_

_and say Jasper did it_

_Spread rumours that Jasper had a sex change operation_

_Pretend to be British because he eerily resembles Robert Pattinson_

_Use rule 9 to flirt with human girls just to annoy Bella_

_Tell Alice that her favourite stores are on strike because she keeps squealing in the shop every time she finds something nice_

"Hey, can I write some more there?" Bella asked.

"Bella, I already feel embarrassed enough! Now my own fiancée is going to write down some rules for me too?!" Edward said, pouting in the process **(a/n wouldn't we all just love to see that!)**

"Sorry Edward, but your constant jealousy to my celebrity crushes is enough to make me consider a date with Mike Newton!" Bella argued.

"Well what does Joe Jonas, Zac Efron and Robert Pattinson got that I haven't?!" Edward pouted.

"Just shut up and give me the damn pen!" Bella snapped, causing the Cullens to laugh uncontrollably; well apart from dear Edward. He was just glaring.

_Hunting down Zachary Efron, Joseph Jonas and Robert Pattinson will get him violence from Rosalie and Alice and silent treatment from Bella_

_Never insult the boys on rule 11 in front of Bella_

_Never call Zac Efron gay when Bella makes him watch any of his movies_

_Never call the Jonas Brothers talent less little boys unless he has a death wish_

_Never call Robert Pattinson a British pig-headed boy version of Rosalie_

_Never say the comment in rule 15 in front Rosalie or else he'll end up stuck withg a pink Volvo…_

_or a shopping trip with Alice_

_Never call Bella his 'baby lamb' in front of Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Charlie and Mike_

_Never do a bad impression of Kevin Jonas' SOS dance just to annoy Bella…_

_Never do a good impression of Kevin Jonas' SOS dance_

"There." Bella said, giving the list for the Cullens to see.

"I don't understand your infatuation with those celebrities. Why do you want them when you already have me?" Edward asked.

"Well, I like Zac because he can sing, dance, act and damn he is…Damn!" Bella explained. "Plus he's hair and that six pack!"

"What about Robert with that British accent of his? Nice! Ooh, or Kevin Jonas and his SOS dance!" Rosalie gushed, receiving sudden glares from Emmett.

"No, what about Joe the way he shakes that tambourine? No, my favourite Jonas is Nick! Good dresser, and the curly hair is cute!" Alice said.

Edward rolled his eyes jealously. "It was a rhetorical question…"

**Nest chapter: ALICE**

**Sorry about the comments about my favourite boys! I had to… Get used to it though, I plan on using them in a lot of my many stories…**

**You know you love me…**

**Xoxo,**

**Alex **


	2. If I get 20, you get 20

**Disclaimer: If I did own Twilight, why in the name of Efron would I still be writing fan fictions? **

ALICE

_Never drag Bella out of bed for a shopping spree_

_Never sing Barbie Girl in front of the family_

_Never sing Barbie Girl in front of Emmett because he will sing as well and we all know how that will turn out…_

_Never give Jasper a chick flick and tell him to watch it - he'll get emotional - more than he could possibly get_

_Never greet Carlisle by saying 'What up Doctor McMuffin Head!'_

_Never give Edward's car a 'makeover'…_

_And accuse Bella saying it was her idea_

_Never sing High School Musical…_

_Or Jonas Brothers_

_Or anything related to Disney (which means no Hakuna Matata)_

_Never tell Edward that Bella is planning to go to LA to marry one of her celebrity infatuations…_

_Or Mike Newton_

_Never cut Esme's flowers to use on her dresses_

_Never tell Tanya that the reason Edward didn't like her was because she looked to fat…_

_And then laugh in her face after she had more than 2 plastic surgeries_

"Come on, you guys, where's your sense of humour? You've got to admit, rule 14 and 15 were funny!" Alice laughed.

"Alice, poor Tanya now looks like a toilet brush!" Esme scolded.

"I thought it was funny." Rosalie, Bella and Emmett said together.

"Yeah, but Rosalie, you hated Tanya ever since she said your hair looks fake. Bella, you hate her for coming on to Edward; and we all know Emmett laughs at anything other than his embarrassing moments!" Carlisle retorted.

They all stopped when they saw Edward writing on the piece of paper. "What are you doing?" Alice asked, narrowing her eyes.

"If I get 20 rules, you're getting 20 rules!" Edward explained and he gave them the piece of paper so they could look at it…

_16. Never make Bella look like a biker chick and say it was for Jacob Black_

_17. Never make Bella look really nice so Edward bites her_

_18. Never say 'I know something about Bella that you don't know' over and over just to annoy Edward_

_19. Never give Rosalie a haircut_

_20. Never run around Bella's house screaming 'Bella and Edward run off to Vegas' when Charlie's there._


	3. HSM3 AN

**A/N: I watched HSM3 early because it came out two days earlier in here in the UK. OMG!! I had ZAC goosebumps! It's safe to say I will never get over Zac Efron!**

**I started crying at the end! Zaccy's gone. No more Troy. No more creme brulees. No more cool Ryan hats or Sharpay's voice warm ups. Oh, I'm just so emotional right now!**


	4. AN

**Guys, I am so unbelievably sorry for my lack of updates…I've just got no fuckin' idea what to do with this story anymore. And my life's a mess right now…**

**I moved to Australia, away from my best friends.**

**I had to break up with my boyfriend.**

**Everything's changing and I'm so stressed right now…**

**PM me with an idea - any idea!**

**Sorry again**

**Alex x**


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